1. Usespecific reasons and examples to support your answer.
2. Use clearly appropriate explanations, exemplifications, and/or details.
要论证：Doing part-time jobs can help university students earn pocket money.
[学生原稿]For example, once I took a part time job and earned a lot of money. With this money, I bought many things I like. That made me very happy.
首先，我们将原文中表示时间的once描述的再具体一些，比如last summer/when I was a freshman;其次，将a part-time job具体化，比如在星巴克或者学校旁边的一家餐馆做服务生;再者，关于a lot of money，可以避开精确的数字，给到several thousand yuan，以及怎么花掉了这部分钱，比如买了自己最喜欢的吉他，都可以添加细节描述;在例子的最后结尾处，可以从自己的感受出发，比如表示自己因为做兼职赚了零花钱感到很开心，呼应主题句，重新点题。
For example, this summer I took a part time job as a waiter in a local restaurant near my university. Two months later, I earned about four thousand yuan. With that sum of money, I bought a beautiful guitar and for the following few months, it will be unnecessary for me to ask my parents for pocket money any more. The experience of earning money from doing part-time jobs really made me happy.
要论证：Watching TV for a long time does harm to children’s eyesight.
[学生原稿]For example, because I used to watch TV for a long time, I got nearsighted and finally I had to wear glasses.
[完善后的例子]For example, when I was in primary school, I liked watching TV very much. I remember once I was addicted to the famous cartoon Tom and Jerry, which was quite popular at that time. It was so fascinating that I often sat in front of the television for more than 2 hours every day. Finally, about two months later I realized I got nearsighted since I could not see clearly the formulas my teacher wrote on the blackboard. At last, I had to wear glasses, which made me feel so uncomfortable that it took me several weeks to get used to it.
比如：✖️ a little boy once watched TV a lot, and finally he got cancer……
比如 last year/when I was seven years old/when I was in primary school;
比如this summer I learned TOEFL at New Oriental, which is specialized in English training;
比如提到website，以www.superlearn.cn为例，要给到具体的解释：it is a popular website in China and designed by New Oriental to help students practice TOEFL online;
比如：it was a great experience to practice TOEFL on SuperLearn。