例如：In the show, if participators answer twenty problemsthat the host mentioned correctly, they will get five hundreds thousand U.S. dollars as a prize. problems应改为questions。
例如：This arguement is not valid.arguement应该为argument
First of all, children can earn money from their jobs, although there isn’t too much, but they will keep their salary gingerliness.
例如：The second argument-it might have been noticed by others-is that in some occasion, it is quite difficult to compare parents to teachers because parents are a kind of people, teachers are a kind of vocation.
1.They shocked their friends, devastated their families, crushed their best friends.前面已经提到了朋友，后面又提到朋友。
2.The show is so compellingbut attractive. compelling和attractive是同义词，所以这里这么写就让人不明白。
例如：To some extends, I agree with the author’s general assertion that if parents also have a comprehensive sense of professional knowledge.
To some extends应改为To some extent
例如：For example, when a doctor faces a patient who has got cancer, the doctor cannot tell the truth, for the truth may cause the patient’s immediate death. 虽然善意的谎言是必要的，但是其功效显然没有这么大。
例如：According to a comprehensive investigation which is carried out by Chinese Academy of Social Sciences shows thatthere is an increase in the number of university students who are taking part-time jobs. 该句中的shows that是多余的成分。
例如：However, the questions such as "Have you ever regretted marrying your husband" may be very privacy and embarrassingly.句子中的privacy和embarrassingly应该改成private和embarrassing。
托福作文一般使用现在时态，除了拿过去事件作为例子用过去时态。Some people claimed that news media has enormous influence and is a detrimental creation.claimed应该改为claim
1. Life is not fair，get used to it.
2. The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself.
3. You will not make 40 thousand dollars a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice president with a car，until you earn both.
4. If you think your teacher is tough，wait till you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure.
5. Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping; they called it opportunity.
6. If you mess up，it's not your parents' fault，so don't whine about your mistakes， learn from them.
7. Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.
8. Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.